I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
