I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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