i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
