Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
