I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize