Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
