About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
