is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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