what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
