he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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