Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
