I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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