Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize