There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
