News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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