I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
