the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
