So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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