he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
