4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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