Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
