remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
