we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
