i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Panties = found
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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