she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
