OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
