We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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