You're so nebulous sometimes
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
