wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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