Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
