hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
