just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
