well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
