I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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