I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
