Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
