I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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