I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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