Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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