yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
