We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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