Kiss
Puke
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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