What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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