there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
