Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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