ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
