no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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