I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
