The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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