I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
