got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
