You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This girl is more easily done than said...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
