what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
