I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
