We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
