i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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