The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
