I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
