Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
