Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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