my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
