false alarm. still invincible.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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